My Worst Year of Teaching

Year 10...I will never forget it.

One day my principal knocked on my classroom door, interrupted my class, and asked to speak to me in the hallway. I walked out, closed the door behind me. Here is how that interaction went:

Me: "OK, which parent called you?" (Maybe not the best way to approach the head of the school but I was so annoyed that he interrupted my class)

Principal: "How do you know I am here about a parent phone call?"

Me: "Because this is the first time you have been to my classroom in 5 years."

Principal: "Oh, well I am here about a parent phone call. There are some very upset parents and students."

Me: "I am assuming that it is the IB students who are complaining...the ones who are on the other side of this door."

Principal: "Yes it is"

Me: "Well I don't think this is the best time or place to talk about it."

Principal: "OK, come down to my office as soon as you can."

Then I had to suck up and bury all of the emotions I was feeling and walk back into the room of students who were complaining about me. A real punch in the face.

I am not so arrogant and unaware that my IB students were unhappy, I knew they were. I had never had IB students struggle like this group and I had been teaching the course for 6 years at that point. My former students got great results and I never had any complaints (or at least none that I knew of) The IB Math students are supposed to be the best of the best and this group wasn't at the same level that all of the cohorts before has been. I was frustrated, they were frustrated. I wasn't exactly sure what to do. I told them I was available for extra help everyday before and after school, I made review sheets for them and I even gave up coaching that year so that I could be more available to them. (There were some other factors in me giving up coaching but my students were a factor). But they didn't come to extra help, they weren't studying in a way that would make them successful (and that's relative isn't it...successful? maybe a blog entry to come). It was a bad situation. I knew the level they needed to perform at, and they just weren't.

The walk down to the principal's office felt like the "Green Mile". With every step, the nervousness in my stomach grew. Up to this point, I hadn't had many interactions with the principal and truth-be-told, I wasn't really a fan of him. I knocked on the door, walked in and the first thing he said was "Why do you look like you are going to cry?". Now, since I was already upset and my personal belief is that this man is sexist, his comment went straight to my heart. Was he that much of a jerk?

I sat down and started to cry. Dammit! I didn't want to show him weakness, especially since he just assumed I was going to cry because I am a woman. He handed me a box of tissues and asked why I was so upset. I began to express my frustration with him and the students without displacing too much blame. I tried to explain to him that I had given up so much for the students and I didn't feel like they were working hard enough. I told him that the initiative of "Algebra For All" in the 8th grade was doing the students and our IB Math program a disservice. This cohort of students did not have the same strong mathematical background that the students before them had. He leaned back and said, "I didn't think of that."

He went on to tell me some of the complaints about me. "My Homework assignments were too hard", "My tests were too hard", "The students grades aren't as high as the parents would like." "The students have to take too many notes." I don't know if my mouth was hanging open as he was speaking, but in my mind it was. I couldn't believe that this was happening. I was being questioned on the rigor of a course that was designed by IB.

Me: "If they aren't willing to do the work, then they shouldn't be in the course."

Principal: "Do you say that to them directly or infer it indirectly."

Me: "Yes. I can't change how hard the IB test is. So I have to teach the class at the level of the test, if not harder."

Principal: "Well, maybe you should make the class easier."

Me: "Then you have to be OK with declining scores."

Principal: "When have I ever talked to you about your scores?"

Me: "Last year you told me my mastery rate was not where you think it should be."

Principal: "I wont question your scores, I promise. But I do want you to meet with me once a week so that we can talk about what you are doing in the classroom and what you can do to change."

I almost lost it! Does he think I should be put on a TINS (Teacher In Need of Support)? Is the union going to have to get involved? Am I that bad of a teacher? If so, why has no one brought it to my attention? How could they? No one had done a real, meaningful observation of me in years.

I made an appointment with my friend and union grievance rep and told her the story. She looked at me the way I looked at the principal. She was in shock. She said, "I will talk to him. You are NOT going on a TINS. This is ridiculous."

Her and I met again in a day or so and she said his interpretation of our interaction was much different than mine. He seemed to think that he was offering help and guidance by setting up weekly meetings with me and I thought I was being reprimanded. Interesting how two people have much different views depending on what side of the desk they are sitting on...

The year went on, I checked in with him every week or so for about 4 weeks. I can't tell you what we talked about, what he said, what I felt.

I write this entry more than 4 years later. Here's the most interesting part...I now work side-by-side with the two people mentioned in this post. I am a quasi-administrator in that I am a teacher on special assignment. I have teacher duties as well as administrative ones. The union rep is now the AP and English Chairperson.

I have a tremendous amount of respect for the principal. Something I never would have said 5 years ago. I know I can walk into his office and have a meaningful and productive conversation. He listens to my ideas and gives me guidance as I work as the IB Coordinator.

So while I will never forget my 10th year of teaching for bad reasons, it was the first step to forging a working (and healthy) relationship with the principal of my school.